After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
