You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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