Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
