I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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