You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
