i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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