I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
