She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
