I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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