Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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