Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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