thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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