I must be too annoying 4 u.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
