I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
