He asked to "fluff my boner.."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
