I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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Randomize
