We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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