You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize