im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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