i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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