I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Boobs speak an international language.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
