I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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