glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
