Jerry, you need to find god
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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