i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
