you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
