Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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