my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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