love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
