i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I looked at my own cervix.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
