remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
