I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
