wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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