i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
so much tequila, so little girl.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
