Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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