so that wasnt chicken after all
he puts the penis in happiness.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
