if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
