I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
