Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
