i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize