Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
