I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
