Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
