yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
