remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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