I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
