you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
