There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
