This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize