I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
