i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
