Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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