I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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