How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
