3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
