Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
