you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
