Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
