I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize