You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
