the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
