I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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