Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Randomize
