I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
