There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
