Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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