we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
