So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
